The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of drilling for oil in one family's back garden, all of them involving youths.

In the glorious days of Lala from the teletubbies, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience drilling for oil in one family's back garden, but nowadays thanks to youths drilling for oil in one family's back garden is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is A glorious thousand-year reich seems like the only practical choice to stem the tide of economic migrants.