The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of fighting the poilce, all of them involving homosexuals.

In the glorious days of Jacob Rees-Mogg, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience fighting the poilce, but nowadays thanks to homosexuals fighting the poilce is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..