Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow lesbians such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but lesbians have this week been revealed as getting away with arson.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps lesbians would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Ian Dunkin-Donuts who this week said, "We need a lot less of the passive tolerance of recent years and much more active, muscular liberalism. Especially for the blacks.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that getting away with arson is acceptable behaviour.