Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow glue-sniffing teenagers such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but glue-sniffing teenagers have this week been revealed as reading the works of Karl Marx.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps glue-sniffing teenagers would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Margaret Thatcher who this week said, "If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that reading the works of Karl Marx is acceptable behaviour.