The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that listening to loud music is becoming ever more common, then we learn that Guardian-reading do-gooders are engaging in steamy sex romps every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack Guardian-reading do-gooders engaging in steamy sex romps was Enoch Powell who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..