The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack, all of them involving lesbians.

In the glorious days of Richard Littlejohn, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack, but nowadays thanks to lesbians setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is New Age travellers? Not in this age. Not in any age. Let others speak for these New Age travellers. We will speak for their victims..