The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone, all of them involving paedophiles.

In the glorious days of Boris Johnson, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone, but nowadays thanks to paedophiles sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..