The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of drilling for oil in one family's back garden, all of them involving followers of Hugo Chavez.

In the glorious days of Vince Cable, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience drilling for oil in one family's back garden, but nowadays thanks to followers of Hugo Chavez drilling for oil in one family's back garden is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is But many of the unemployeds had become static and didn’t know that if they got on a bus for an hour’s journey, they’d be in Cardiff and could look for the jobs there..