The Mail has learned that hoody-wearing layabouts are responsible for engaging in steamy sex romps.

Has the world gone mad? Hoody-wearing layabouts are engaging in steamy sex romps with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Norman Tebbit, who said "I grew up in the 1930s with an unemployed father. He did not riot. He got on his bike and looked for work, and he went on looking until he found it."