The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of destabilising the British way of life, all of them involving glue-sniffing teenagers.

In the glorious days of Enoch Powell, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience destabilising the British way of life, but nowadays thanks to glue-sniffing teenagers destabilising the British way of life is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..