I’m not racist but surely allowing youths to flout our British way of life means that things have gone too far? Pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals is just not British.

Some leftists will predictably argue that youths aren’t pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals in reality. But reality has a well known left-wing bias. An unnamed source agrees with me, saying today, "I like sponge".

Let’s kick out the sickos and reclaim our traditional British heritage.