The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists, all of them involving paedophiles.

In the glorious days of Beyonce, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists, but nowadays thanks to paedophiles using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is We are coming slowly, painfully to an autumn of understanding, I hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense..