I’m not racist but surely allowing paedophiles to flout our British way of life means that things have gone too far? Sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone is just not British.

Some leftists will predictably argue that paedophiles aren’t sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone in reality. But reality has a well known left-wing bias. John Major agrees with me, saying today, "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts.".

Let’s kick out the sickos and reclaim our traditional British heritage.