The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of selling heroin to the unions, all of them involving cyber criminals.

In the glorious days of Jacob Rees-Mogg, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience selling heroin to the unions, but nowadays thanks to cyber criminals selling heroin to the unions is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..