Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow glue-sniffing teenagers such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but glue-sniffing teenagers have this week been revealed as defacing statues in Trafalgar Square.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps glue-sniffing teenagers would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Conservative head office who this week said, "was it for this politically correct insanity that I fought and died in eight world wars? I think not!".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that defacing statues in Trafalgar Square is acceptable behaviour.