The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of squatting houses left empty by families on holiday, all of them involving gangs of black youths.

In the glorious days of Norris McWhirter, speaking posthumously, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience squatting houses left empty by families on holiday, but nowadays thanks to gangs of black youths squatting houses left empty by families on holiday is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..