Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Anarchists calling themselves the Wombles have been destabilising the British way of life outside nursery schools.

Terror expert The English People has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Destabilising the British way of life: The True Face Of Evil", The English People says, "make no mistake if this is allowed to continue Armageddon shall surely be upon us and woe betide all who would seek to impose upon us a surveillance society. For on that day the right shall inherit the Earth!".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for anarchists calling themselves the Wombles. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.