The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of terrorising innocent investment bankers, all of them involving miners, bent on revenge.

In the glorious days of Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience terrorising innocent investment bankers, but nowadays thanks to miners, bent on revenge terrorising innocent investment bankers is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..