The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of drilling for oil in one family's back garden, all of them involving cyber criminals.

In the glorious days of Nicolas Sarkozy, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience drilling for oil in one family's back garden, but nowadays thanks to cyber criminals drilling for oil in one family's back garden is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is These dole-scrounging n’er-do-wells must be eliminated at all costs..