Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of binge drinking has been perpetrated by Noam Chomsky devotees.

The Mail can reveal that Noam Chomsky devotees are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Angela Merkel said of the Noam Chomsky devotees, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".