The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of selling heroin to the unions, all of them involving gangs of children, some still in their prams.

In the glorious days of Boris Johnson, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience selling heroin to the unions, but nowadays thanks to gangs of children, some still in their prams selling heroin to the unions is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..