Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Criminal gangs from Eastern Europe have been injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Vince Cable has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by: The True Face Of Evil", Vince Cable says, "But many of the unemployeds had become static and didn’t know that if they got on a bus for an hour’s journey, they’d be in Cardiff and could look for the jobs there.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for criminal gangs from Eastern Europe. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.