Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Young single mothers have been causing cancer outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Lala from the teletubbies has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Causing cancer: The True Face Of Evil", Lala from the teletubbies says, "make no mistake if this is allowed to continue Armageddon shall surely be upon us and woe betide all who would seek to impose upon us a surveillance society. For on that day the right shall inherit the Earth!".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for young single mothers. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.