Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of engaging in steamy sex romps has been perpetrated by homosexuals.

The Mail can reveal that homosexuals are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

The Queen said of the homosexuals, "society needs to condemn a little more and understand a little less.".