Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Enviro-Mental-ists have been pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Bernard Jenkin has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals: The True Face Of Evil", Bernard Jenkin says, "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for enviro-Mental-ists. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.