Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Anarchists calling themselves the Wombles have been urinating on the Union Jack outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Vince Cable has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Urinating on the Union Jack: The True Face Of Evil", Vince Cable says, "Waterboarding is not torture".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for anarchists calling themselves the Wombles. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.