Now boffins have discovered that followers of Hugo Chavez can cause cancer as well as being, frankly, distasteful.

Docktawh Gillian Keith, speaking from her underground nutrition dome said, "Ever since Theresa May told me about it, I have been trying to cure admiring Jeremy Corbyn with a powerful mix of micronutrients, goji berries and spirulina."

She added "As it turns out admiring Jeremy Corbyn is almost completely identical to cancer, in how it affects the balance of our chakras. And everybody knows that admiring Jeremy Corbyn is mostly caused by followers of Hugo Chavez, who are known to promote a negative orgone balance in the red layer of the energy rainbow."

Of course liberal-minded multiculturalists will no doubt assume that comparing followers of Hugo Chavez to carcinogens is "racist", but they can’t deny the simple facts of the case. And the Mail is happy to back Gillian’s words; she gave us a fresh insight into Broken Britain by saying, "We need a lot less of the passive tolerance of recent years and much more active, muscular liberalism. Especially for the blacks.".