The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks is becoming ever more common, then we learn that hoody-wearing layabouts are pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack hoody-wearing layabouts pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals was Ian Dunkin-Donuts who today said If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened.