Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of helping so-called migrants has been perpetrated by cyberterrorists.

The Mail can reveal that cyberterrorists are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Anne Widdecombe said of the cyberterrorists, "a glorious thousand-year reich seems like the only practical choice to stem the tide of economic migrants".