Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow cyber criminals such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but cyber criminals have this week been revealed as assisting asylum seekers.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps cyber criminals would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Conservative head office who this week said, "I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that assisting asylum seekers is acceptable behaviour.