John Major has today said "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".

Speaking at Alton Towers John Major’s comments come in a week that has seen followers of Hugo Chavez involved in eating babies on an ever more frequent basis.

John Major’s comments are both brave and perceptive. In a country where children as young as five are regularly exposed to followers of Hugo Chavez it is about time that someone had the guts to stand up and tell the truth. Followers of Hugo Chavez and the liberal communist atheist society that spawns them must be eliminated.