The Mail has learned that communist-sympathisers are responsible for causing cancer.

Has the world gone mad? Communist-sympathisers are causing cancer with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Nicolas Sarkozy, who said "I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals."