The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that plotting to kidnap a senior royal is becoming ever more common, then we learn that ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy are using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists was Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium who today said I like sponge.