The Mail has learned that cyberterrorists are responsible for assisting asylum seekers.

Has the world gone mad? Cyberterrorists are assisting asylum seekers with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Lala from the teletubbies, who said "was it for this politically correct insanity that I fought and died in eight world wars? I think not!"