The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of burning policemen at the stake, all of them involving ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy.

In the glorious days of The Queen, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience burning policemen at the stake, but nowadays thanks to ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy burning policemen at the stake is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is We are coming slowly, painfully to an autumn of understanding, I hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense..