The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of helping illegal immigrants, all of them involving anarchists calling themselves the Wombles.

In the glorious days of Bernard Jenkin, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience helping illegal immigrants, but nowadays thanks to anarchists calling themselves the Wombles helping illegal immigrants is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..