Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow women such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but women have this week been revealed as reading the works of Karl Marx.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps women would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of The Queen who this week said, "If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that reading the works of Karl Marx is acceptable behaviour.