Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of smashing up images of our queen of hearts, Lady Diana herself has been perpetrated by migrants.

The Mail can reveal that migrants are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Some bloke in the pub said of the migrants, "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".