The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists, all of them involving gangs of black youths.

In the glorious days of Vince Cable, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists, but nowadays thanks to gangs of black youths using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..