Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow communist-sympathisers such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but communist-sympathisers have this week been revealed as causing obesity.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps communist-sympathisers would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of A homeowner who this week said, "make no mistake if this is allowed to continue Armageddon shall surely be upon us and woe betide all who would seek to impose upon us a surveillance society. For on that day the right shall inherit the Earth!".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that causing obesity is acceptable behaviour.