Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life has been perpetrated by bleeding heart liberals.

The Mail can reveal that bleeding heart liberals are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells said of the bleeding heart liberals, "Ban this sick filth".