Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of training in Al-Quaeda terror camps has been perpetrated by hoodies.

The Mail can reveal that hoodies are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

The English People said of the hoodies, "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood.".