The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of defacing statues in Trafalgar Square, all of them involving Twitter users.

In the glorious days of Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience defacing statues in Trafalgar Square, but nowadays thanks to Twitter users defacing statues in Trafalgar Square is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood..