The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of engaging in steamy sex romps, all of them involving criminal gangs from Eastern Europe.

In the glorious days of Jonathan Aitkin, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience engaging in steamy sex romps, but nowadays thanks to criminal gangs from Eastern Europe engaging in steamy sex romps is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..