The Mail has learned that so-called new age travellers are responsible for pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals.

Has the world gone mad? So-called new age travellers are pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to an unnamed source, who said "we are coming slowly, painfully to an autumn of understanding, I hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense."