The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of defacing statues in Trafalgar Square, all of them involving ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy.

In the glorious days of Jonathan Aitkin, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience defacing statues in Trafalgar Square, but nowadays thanks to ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy defacing statues in Trafalgar Square is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..