Hoody-wearing layabouts have been sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone the Mail can exclusively reveal.

How long can this political correctness gone mad be tolerated by British people?

Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells said of hoody-wearing layabouts, "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."

Hoody-wearing layabouts made no comment about the accusations when we didn’t ask.