Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Lesbians have been urinating on the Union Jack outside nursery schools.

Terror expert John Major has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Urinating on the Union Jack: The True Face Of Evil", John Major says, "A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for?".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for lesbians. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.