The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul), all of them involving anarchists.

In the glorious days of Bernard Manning, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul), but nowadays thanks to anarchists being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood..