The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of selling heroin to the unions, all of them involving paedophiles.

In the glorious days of Conservative head office, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience selling heroin to the unions, but nowadays thanks to paedophiles selling heroin to the unions is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..